Buying or receiving an engagement ring is one of life’s most thrilling moments. It is also a moment filled with questions, traditions, and even myths about what is “supposed” to happen. At Adam Foster Fine Jewelry, we believe your perfect ring should reflect your personal style and your love story, not just a list of traditions. Still, knowing the guidelines and history can help you feel confident as you step into this meaningful part of life.
A Little History of Engagement Ring Etiquette
The tradition of wearing rings on the ring finger of the left hand dates back to the Romans, who believed a vein ran directly from that finger to the heart. Over the centuries, the ring has evolved into a visible promise, worn before the wedding ceremony begins. Today, there are many engagement ring designs to choose from, ranging from classic solitaire settings to bold pavé bands and colorful gemstones like aquamarine or sapphires.
How Much Should an Engagement Ring Cost?
Perhaps the most famous of the so-called engagement ring rules comes from a 20th-century marketing campaign suggesting a groom should spend three months’ salary on the ring. The truth is that there is no fixed rule. Some choose to follow the tradition of two months’ salary or three months’ salary, while others set a budget based on their own circumstances. The average cost of a ring is just that—an average. The only “rule” is to spend an amount that feels right for your relationship.
Choosing the Stone and Style
A diamond engagement ring remains the most popular choice, especially with options like lab-grown diamonds, which provide the same sparkle and cut diamond quality as natural diamonds but at a more accessible price point. Some couples love the timeless look of a round brilliant, while others gravitate toward shapes such as marquise or emerald. Moissanite and other gemstones can also be beautiful alternatives.
When it comes to carat weight, clarity, and sparkle, every center stone tells its own story. The setting also plays a role, whether you love a sleek prong, a dramatic halo, or something entirely vintage-inspired. Engagement ring etiquette has expanded to embrace every ring style imaginable.
Which Hand and Finger?
Traditionally, the engagement ring is worn on the left-hand ring finger, and during the marriage ceremony, the wedding band is placed on the finger first, with the engagement ring stacked above. Some people prefer to wear their engagement ring on the right hand, and in many cultures, that is the norm. Again, personal preference is what matters most.
Pairing with a Wedding Ring
Once the proposal is behind you, thoughts often turn to how the engagement ring will pair with the wedding ring. Some couples opt for a seamless ring set, while others enjoy mixing styles with contrasting metals such as white gold, yellow gold, or rose gold. Whether you prefer a plain metal band, a diamond wedding band, or something custom-designed, the pairing should feel harmonious to the wearer.
Engagement Ring Rules FAQs
Do I have to spend three months’ salary on an engagement ring?
No. The three months’ salary guideline was a marketing campaign from decades ago. The cost of an engagement ring should reflect your budget and your priorities, not a formula.
Can I choose a gemstone other than a diamond?
Yes. While the diamond engagement ring remains the most popular choice, gemstones like sapphires, aquamarine, or even an heirloom stone can make a meaningful and distinctive statement.
What if I don’t know my partner’s ring size?
A skilled jeweler can help. You can bring in an existing ring worn on the same finger, or we can measure discreetly to find the correct size. If adjustments are needed, ring resizing is always an option.
Which hand should the engagement ring be worn on?
Traditionally, the left hand is standard in the United States, but in many cultures, the ring is worn on the right hand. There is no absolute rule.
How do I make sure I choose the perfect ring?
Engagement ring etiquette is about guidance, not restrictions. Focus on your partner’s personal style, their lifestyle, and the engagement ring trends that appeal to them. The perfect ring is one that feels right for the two of you.
Write Your Own Rules
At Adam Foster Fine Jewelry, we see engagement ring shopping as a celebration rather than a checklist. From selecting the center stone and exploring engagement ring designs to pairing your ring with a timeless wedding band, our team of expert jewelers will guide you with artistry and care.
In the end, the most important rule is simple: your ring should feel like it was made for your love story.